Welcome to the age of diminishing returns

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Laughing with neutrinos



Faster-than-light neutrinos and the subsequent terrible mishap of the Italian minister for science and education (Ms. Gelmini) are a bit off-topic for the Cassandra blog, except as a way to highlight the condition of terminal incompetency of the structures that should lead us out of the present crisis. Anyway, I guess we might as well get a good laugh out of this story, in particular about the minister's statement that there should exist a 730 km long tunnel from Geneva to Central Italy. So here are a few jokes translated from Italian and readapted, mainly from the blog "Spinoza". (image above from "CronacaLive")



Every day, in Geneva, a neutrino wakes up and he knows that he will have to run faster than a photon in a 730 km tunnel in order to overcome it.
Every day, in Geneva, a photon wakes up and he knows that he will have to run in a 730 km tunnel fast enough not to be overcome by a neutrino.
Whether you are a neutrino or a photon, it doesn't matter. Just be sure not to be Gelmini.

Minister Gelmini confirms: neutrinos rode unicorns while in the tunnel.

Neutrinos found to have mass; larger than that of Gelmini's neurons.

Einstein was wrong on relativity, but his theory on stupidity is confirmed.

Einstein proven wrong: God wins big in Montecarlo.

The bartender says, "we don't serve neutrinos here"
A neutrino enters in a bar.

Today Schroedinger's cat will be buried. There will follow its death, tomorrow.

CERN's press release: "light than faster are neutrinos"

Superman to Lois Lane: "and you were complaining that I was faster than a bullet!"

To scientists: if you are going to rewrite physics, could you please do it without all those equations?

Press release from the Zeno Institute of Philosophical Research: "Neutrinos may be faster than light, but they will never be able to overcome the turtle, anyay"

From Switzerland to Italy, neutrinos go faster than light. On the way back, they are stopped by the usual traffic jams.


In Italy, not even neutrinos respect the speed limit.




7 comments:

  1. Not sure I understand the pun on the first one

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  2. Well, the first three are all based on the fact that when you go faster than light, you go backward in time. Unfortunately, if it has to be explained, it is not a good joke, maybe....

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  3. ok got it, and their names are also moving faster on paper ? :)

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  4. Of course it is quantum paper. It is all foggy and fuzzy, but it collapses into readable text once you look at it!

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  5. Comment after the neutrine flood..
    I think that..
    WEll!!
    You Already know what I think, Ugo.

    8o)

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  6. I seem to remember that Dr Jakub Rembielinski claimed that previous experiments could not rule out the possibility that neutrinos had imaginary mass, which is what is required for faster than light particles.

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  7. Well, that would go nicely with the imaginary neurons of the minister's brain

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